The one about using Duct Tape and WD-40 is SO true. I use Duct tape to fix everything, sure it looks oakie, but it gets the job done!
And the one about lowering blood pressure by cutting yourself. Make sure to have a timer nearby, LOL, reminds me of when I accidentally chopped off a chunk of skin on my thumb while cutting bread at my old restaurant job, we went to intensive care which made me wait two hours until I almost passed out. The the doctor had the nerve to ask me 5 times if I was cutting meat. I think answering that question twice would have been sufficient.
If I took a huge dose of laxatives, I'd be afraid to walk. Or stand up. Geeze that one would be absolutely brutal!